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04 September 2009 @ 01:18 pm
Bunny Ears & Fluffy Cuffs  

Title: Bunny Ears & Fluffy Cuffs
Rating: PG for language and themes
Characters: Dean, Sam
Genre: Gen
Word Count: 1360

Summary: Sam gets to see a whole lot more of Dean than he ever needed to.
Disclaimer: These gorgeous boys are not mine they belong to God sorry Kripke, but if they did Dean would be dressed like this a hell of a lot more! Or in one layer, I’ll take what I can get.
Notes: This a late birthday gift for[info]moondropz and was inspired by a conversation in the office.  Beta’d by the very wonderfully understanding realscape

Bunny Ears and Fluffy cuffs

Sam was jerked awake from a rare deep sleep by his phone ringing, it was Eye Of The Tiger, Dean’s ring tone, and Sam blinked blearily at the display, frowning across at the empty motel bed beside him. “Hello, Dean where the hell are you?”

“Err is that Sam?” a woman’s voice came down the phone, Sam started awake, feeling as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice down his back, “Who the hell is this? If you’ve hurt my brother, I swear I’ll hunt you down!” Sam snarled, phone tucked under his chin as he hopped around the motel room, frantically getting dressed. One leg in his jeans, the other still tangled in the sheets of the bed, he could hear the woman trying to speak, but she appeared to be stuttering! Sam stopped a moment, repeating his question, “who is this? And where is Dean?” There was silence on the other end, and Sam wondered if the mystery woman had hung up.

“My name is Sue; I think you saw me in the bar last celebrating my birthday with my friends.  You left , but Dean stayed with us, and well, it’s just I’ve got to go, and I think you may need to come and fetch him!” Sam started to panic again, but before he could fire a barrage of questions like’ is he hurt?’ ‘Have I got to break him out of jail?’, and an old favourite,’ does he still have his clothes?’, Sue continued, “it’s nothing to worry about, he’s still asleep, but I have to get to work, and he did warn me how protective you are!”

Sam remembered Sue and her friends from the bar last night.  She’d been opening gifts and one of them had been a Bunny outfit for a guy.  Sue had asked if there were any volunteers, and Dean had chosen that precise moment to come back from the bar, to find himself surrounded by giggling drunk women.  That had been the last he’d seen of his brother.

Sam spent the next few minutes writing down the motel address and room number where Dean was. Sue promised to leave the door unlocked, and he apologised for scaring her.  Just before she hung up, she’d said that, being the younger sibling herself, she’d left Sam a present.  With those words ringing in his ears, Sam climbed into the Impala and set off to retrieve his brother from whatever the hell he’d gotten himself into this time

Sam pulled up at the motel; it wasn’t too far away from the brother’s current home. He walked towards the room, scanning the area for signs of activity or traps.  Just because Sue had sounded human, it didn’t mean she actually was. Sam stood outside the room, pulled his gun from out of the back of his jeans, and then he rolled his shoulders and tried the door. It was open, just like Sue promised, and Sam edged inside rather than bursting through the door, relying on stealth rather than brute force. Once inside, he pushed the door closed with his foot, his gun raised ready for whatever lay in wait. Except he wasn’t quite as ready for anything as he’d thought. Sam froze in place, lowering the gun as he took in the sight in front of him.

Dean was lying on the bed, correction! Dean was lying handcuffed to the bed, and holy crap, thought Sam, pink fluffy handcuffs! Sam’s left hand was automatically reaching for his phone in his pocket.  Not only was Dean handcuffed to the bed, but it was what he was wearing or should that be nearly wearing? Sam accepted he would be scarred for life, but it was worth the trauma.

Dean lay on the bed in a pair of bunny ears, which were perched at a rakish angle, and that was about it, apart from his amulet and the tightest black lycra shorts Sam had ever seen. He thought the shorts Dean had worn as Coach Roth were tight but these, hell they would’ve cut Sam’s circulation off. Just then Dean moved in his sleep, and damn, was that? Oh hell yeah! There was a white cotton tail on his ass. Sam moved closer and raised his phone to take pictures. Dean slept on, blissfully unaware of his brother, a smile playing on his lips.  His arms were raised above his head and attached to the head board, and there were lipstick marks all the way down his toned torso. It looked as if at least three separate women had been attempting to map Dean’s freckles, judging by the different shades on display. One shade of lipstick though seemed to have had a more adventurous journey judging by Dean’s muscular thighs, and calves, and Sam wondered how far under the shorts the lipstick trail went, but he felt some things were best left alone.

Sam stood and quickly took several photos, then unfastened one cuff, freeing Dean’s arms .  He knew Dean would soon wake up, so he took a step back, a wicked smile on his face, phone poised for an action shot, and in his best Oh God, Dean Help Me! tone yelled at the top of his lungs,

“DEEEAAANN!”

The result was instantaneous.  Dean jack knifed up off the bed with a cry of “Son of a bitch!” and he stood by the bed, poised to attack whatever was hurting Sammy. He turned to try and pinpoint the danger, vaguely aware of a clicking noise and Sam laughing. When Dean turned, Sam took the opportunity to take a few more shots, and was rewarded with a full view of Dean’s broad shoulders, tapering down to a narrow waist and very well defined ass in those shorts! Sam snorted “Nice Tail Dean!” and laughed when his confused brother spun back to face him, tilting the ears even more.

“Huh?”   Dean raised his hand to feel what was on his head, only to see a pair of cuffs dangling from his wrist.  With a slow dawning horror, he took in the rest of his appearance, and slowly a blush crept over his whole body.  Sam noticed it travelling upwards, and by the time it reached his face Sam was pretty sure he could’ve toasted marshmallows. Dean snatched the ears off his head, then scrubbed the back of his head and neck self consciously. “Where did Sue go?” Dean asked with a smirk. Sam quirked an eyebrow, “Are you sure it was only Sue?” Sam nodded to the various lipstick marks.  Dean twirled the now discarded cuffs, “oh yeah! Believe me, she was more than enough!”

Sam’s phone bleeped and he saw he was being blue toothed a video clip with the words enjoy luv Sue! Sam opened the clip, and there was Dean, obviously still in the bar, dancing on a table.  And good God, he was only wearing the ears and shorts! Dean, seeing his brother’s delighted expression, grabbed for the phone, but after a few moments wrestling, the boys decide to play nice and share.


The full clip showed Dean dancing to “Back in Black” which, as far as Sam was concerned, was the mother lode in blackmail material, but what happened next had Sam dumbfounded and Dean hooting with laughter. As Dean continued to move and gyrate to the song, women were getting up and dancing with him, kissing him, and damn they were shoving bills down his shorts!

Dean stood up and pointed to where his clothes were folded on the chair.  There was a pile of bills sat on top with a note pinned to them

Dean,

Thanks for making this a truly unforgettable birthday.  Don’t forget your tips; the girls thought you were worth every last Dime.

Sue

There, were fives, tens, twenties, a couple of fifties and holy shit a hundred! Dean smirked “Damn, not only was she smoking hot, but honest too!” Sam was starring at the money as if it were cursed and Dean slapped him on the back, “Hey Sam, it looks like we’re getting into the money laundering business.”

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Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: silence
 
 
 
 Late Night Drops of Random: Ackles glee!moondropz on September 4th, 2009 02:44 pm (UTC)
*Rolls*
HOMG!!!!!
Best Birthday fanfic/crack porn ever! I am still laughing like a lunatic! This was well worth the read!
*Hus/still laughing* :))))
garvaldmains on September 4th, 2009 06:30 pm (UTC)
ROFL... I can picture this and JEEZ Rofl...

*HUGS* XXXX
sasha_dragon: SPN4.17sasha_dragon on September 5th, 2009 08:11 pm (UTC)
I was so nervous about this I did'nt know if i'd got the boys in character! so if you can picture it, then I must have done something right! *G*

*HUGS*
catnthecradlecatnthecradle on September 5th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
Only Dean could fall in a pile of shit and come out smelling of roses. LOL
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on September 5th, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC)
Yup that was my thought when I was writing it!
the key of the day and the lock of the night: Laughlocknkey on September 5th, 2009 07:47 pm (UTC)
Oh God - LOL! Dean in the shorts sounds, mmmm....
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on September 5th, 2009 08:08 pm (UTC)
I know! its the kind of image that gets you through a day!
Deanna Wesson: Dudedeannawesson on September 6th, 2009 06:17 am (UTC)
*lmao* Bwahahahahaha! Oh god, why can't they actually do something like this in the show!? *falls off chair*
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on September 6th, 2009 03:18 pm (UTC)
I think we should organise ait sit in at the production offices with signs saying "Naked Dean Now!" and sing Carry On my Wayward Son until we get what we want!
(Deleted comment)
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on September 7th, 2009 06:56 pm (UTC)
Why thank you for your kind comment and a standing ovation too boot! I only hope you made it to the bathroom in time *G*
deanwsoulmatedeanwsoulmate on November 11th, 2011 05:32 pm (UTC)
PLEASE PLEASE i want the same birthday present.... OMG.... ***drop dead***
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on November 13th, 2011 04:10 pm (UTC)
I'm taking orders for a Dean O Gram....sadly there is a slight waiting list....will 2015 be early enough*G*
deanwsoulmatedeanwsoulmate on November 14th, 2011 02:11 pm (UTC)
Don´t worry... i will be very patient. I have wait for someone like him all my life. I can wait a few years more.