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13 June 2014 @ 01:30 pm
It's the most wonderful time of the year.  
To celebrate the new round of the H/C Bingo, I thought I'd write a little piece of nonsense. It's as rough as hell, but was a lot of fun to write.And of course I'll give you three guesses what I've done again *G*

The group of heavily armed men sat behind their makeshift barricades staring at the reinforced steel door. It shook under a determined attack, each blow louder than the last

“I hate to say this but that door ain’t gonna hold much  longer, can anyone please tell me what the hell’s got  the fan girls so damn riled up? I mean they’re bad enough at the best of times, but this is something else. You got any ideas Hardison?” Eliot Spencer said as he wiped the blood from his face, and then tied his hair into a pony tail.

Alec sat pouring over his tablet, his face a picture of concentration, “Listen Eliot I’m gonna give you the same answer I gave you five minutes ago. I ain’t got a clue, but judging by what I’m reading it’s bad, real bad.” He went back to scrolling through screen after screen, his frown deepening with every new piece of information.  He turned to the man beside him, “You got anything Rodney? Cause I think we’re running out of time here.” He flinched as the pounding on the door grew louder.

Rodney McKay was hunched over, typing furiously, “I’ve never seen the fan girls so organised, and they’re hunting in packs. It’s like a Wraith cull only much more targeted.  I’m getting reports of people being snatched from all over the planet.”  Rodney’s voice was becoming shrill with panic.

John Sheppard looked over his shoulder his expression grim, “Come on Rodney, you need to figure it before that door gives, we all saw what happened to the SG1team out there.”He turned back to the door, ignoring Rodney and Alec’s whimper of fear.

Ronon snorted derisively, “At least they went down fighting, instead of hiding like cowards.  Their last stand was magnificent, I was really impressed when Carter took down those two...sparkly assed Twilight wannabes.” Ronon looked at the puzzled expressions, “Well, that’s what Dean called them.” He heard a laugh from the other end of the barricade, as Dean winked and give him the thumbs up.

Rodney stopped typing and looked up, “Heroic right, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who heard Tealc crying like a girl when they finally grabbed them. Need I remind you of what a group of fan girls, especially Hurt/Comfort writing fan girls are capable of?” He said waspishly, glaring at the men beside him.

Ronon scowled at the memory and moved closer to his leader, and John looked over helplessly at Dean, “See what I have to put up with? I told you what they were like. By the way how’s the shoulder these days?” John asked Dean, and tried not to blush when the hunter shot him a heated look. He ignored the way Sam rolled his eyes, and Ronon growled softly.

Alec lifted his head, “What you two were guests of the ladies? That’s a story I’d like to hear one day, possibly when we’re not facing certain.... well not death, but certain whumpage. Eliot is not a good patient; I’d rather comfort a grizzly bear with a broken leg.” Alec went back to his tablet, ignoring the laughter and Eliot’s ‘damnit Hardison’.

Ronon shifted as the door creaked ominously, “The door won’t take much more, hunter are you sure you can fight?”  He looked over at Dean, who was pale faced and sweating as he leant against the barricade.

He smirked lopsidedly at the warrior, “I’m fine, it’s just a sprain and a few bruises. Just another day at the office.” Dean closed his eyes and swallowed, as a wave of dizziness washed over him.

Sam sighed and shook his head, “Yeah you’re totally fine, and that sprain is a broken leg from the booby trap the girls left us. Do you want me to mention the head injury?” He nodded at the bandages, wrapped round his brother’s head. Sam had been more than grateful, when John had broken out the first aid kit and patched Dean up.

Dean squinted at his brother, “I keep telling you I’m fine, although you might be right about the concussion. I keep seeing two of you, but the one of you on the right is wearing a beanie.”

Sam sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “That’s not funny Dean, we both know you’re not concussed. And stop making out that Jared is a figment of your imagination; he and Jensen are in the same boat as us.”

Dean shrugged, “Ah it’s a little funny, I’m sure Jared finds it funny, don’t you dude?”  Dean addressed the man beside his brother.

Jared sat forward grinning his dimples appearing, “It’s kinda funny, but I’m pretty sure Jensen’s not seeing the funny side of this.  I thought the fan girls only liked dislocating Dean’s shoulder, how is it by the way?”  Jared called out to his friend.

A groan came from beside Dean, “I’m just friggin’ peachy, one minute we’re on our way home from filming and the next there’s a flash of light and we’re in the middle of a war zone. “  He moved, winced and glared at Ronon, “I was fine right up until Conan over there tackled me into the wall. I should thank Eliot for popping my shoulder back, but I wouldn’t have minded some pain killers first.” Jensen nodded gratefully at the hitter.

Eliot gave him a smile, “No problem man, but who the fuck is Kane.  And why did you threaten to tell Steve, about what he did last Christmas?” Eliot asked as Jensen blushed, and Jared muttered something under his breath.

Alec looked up, “Ok let me get this right, Jared and Jensen play Dean and Sam on a TV show?” He saw the hunters nod, “Suddenly it’s making sense, and Oh man, this is getting worse and worse. I’m now seeing reports that David Tennant and Matt Smith have been snatched, is nothing sacred to these women?”  He shook his head sadly.

Eliot rolled his eyes in frustration, “Damnit Hardison, you got any ideas what’s happening or not?”

Alec passed his tablet to McKay, and the scientist blanched and looked horrified, “Oh my god we’re all screwed, do you know what time of year it is? It explains why we’re all together, and just look at Dean and Jensen they’ve started already.”

John sighed put down his P90 and grabbed the tablet, he looked up in horror and passed it along to Ronon. Whose only reaction was to clench his jaw and, hover protectively over his commanding officer.

Sam watched the reactions, “We’re not gonna like this are we?” He asked nervously just as the door finally gave.

Sam and Dean raised their weapons ready to fight and realized they were the only ones, “Hey fellas isn’t this were we make our final stand and all that shit?” Dean asked.

“I hate to be all Borg about this, but resistance is futile. I just hope Beckett packed enough medical supplies, we’re going to need them.” Sighed Rodney.

As he was speaking people were pouring through the door, and they found themselves facing Wraiths, vampires, and mercenaries. But the most terrifying of all were the group of women who followed them in.

They were dressed in black and a couple of them were holding pieces of paper, one of them started to talk excitedly, “I tell you I’m going to do this, this year if it kills me. I love the Hurt/Comfort t Bingo challenge.”

Another fan girl patted her on the shoulder, “That’s the spirit, now let’s see what you’ve got.....hmmmm mutation, didn’t you say you’d love to see Dean or Jensen with wings? Now’s your chance.” The two women fist bumped.

Sam felt the gun slip from his fingers, and he looked at his brother in terror.  Dean was grim faced and projecting his touch anybody touches my little brother and they die vibe.

Sam noticed that Jared had made his way over to Jensen, and was trying to get in front of him. But Jensen was having none of it he elbowed him in the ribs, and placed himself firmly in front of his ‘moose’ a picture of resolve.

The fan girls looked at them and rubbed their hands together gleefully as the Dean girl said, “That’s the spirit boys, we promise this won’t hurt....much.”


  


  
forced to rely on enemy / rival   grief   cuddling   mutation   coma  
forced to face fear   fall from grace   heart attack / heart trouble   torture   nervous breakdown  
poisoning   humiliation   WILD CARD head trauma   severe / life-threatening illness  
brainwashing / deprogramming   explosion   runaways   food poisoning   unexpected consequences of planned soulbonding  
falling   abandonment issues   extortion   job-related trauma   pandemics and epidemics  




Tags: ,
 
 
Current Mood: dorkydorky
 
 
 
milly_galmilly_gal on June 13th, 2014 12:52 pm (UTC)

Dean shrugged, “Ah it’s a little funny, I’m sure Jared finds it funny, don’t you dude?” Dean addressed the man beside his brother.

Jared sat forward grinning his dimples appearing, “It’s kinda funny, but I’m pretty sure Jensen’s not seeing the funny side of this. I thought the fan girls only liked dislocating Dean’s shoulder, how is it by the way?” Jared called out to his friend.

A groan came from beside Dean, “I’m just friggin’ peachy, one minute we’re on our way home from filming and the next there’s a flash of light and we’re in the middle of a war zone. “ He moved, winced and glared at Ronon, “I was fine right up until Conan over there tackled me into the wall. I should thank Eliot for popping my shoulder back, but I wouldn’t have minded some pain killers first.” Jensen nodded gratefully at the hitter.

Eliot gave him a smile, “No problem man, but who the fuck is Kane. And why did you threaten to tell Steve, about what he did last Christmas?” Eliot asked as Jensen blushed, and Jared muttered something under his breath.

Alec looked up, “Ok let me get this right, Jared and Jensen play Dean and Sam on a TV show?” He saw the hunters nod, “Suddenly it’s making sense, and Oh man, this is getting worse and worse. I’m now seeing reports that David Tennant and Matt Smith have been snatched, is nothing scared to these women?” He shook his head sadly.


I.Fucking.Love.You!!!!!

*Dies laughing*
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on June 13th, 2014 08:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And if I keep this up, these stories might end up as a verse! Lord help us all....I wonder if I could do my bingo card based on that? No, it needs to be seriously, whumping these gorgeous men needs to be treated with respect.
milly_galmilly_gal on June 14th, 2014 09:48 am (UTC)
I think they so should, I mean they're all fantastic, so why not string them together :D
wings128: Writing!handwings128 on June 13th, 2014 01:01 pm (UTC)
I LOVE YOUR FANGIRL FICS!♥ And this one's no exception :D
Just what I needed, thanks hun.
Awesome job!
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on June 13th, 2014 08:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you, the way things are going these girls could become a verse in their own right!

I'm glad I made you smile!
wings128: Writing!handwings128 on June 13th, 2014 11:30 pm (UTC)
We are already, aren't we? :D
Dizzojay's Dean Dreamsdizzojay on June 13th, 2014 09:34 pm (UTC)
Heehee, great fun - what a plethora of pretties :)