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12 April 2010 @ 12:09 am
Rant and Venting of Spleen! anonymous commntators you have competiton.  
This is a warning this post has little value except to allow me to let off a little steam!  Please feel free to run away screaming now I won't be offended, and I  may still have friends at the end of it *G*

It has brought to my attention that of late authors of Fic have been suffering abuse from anonymous commentators.  Believe me when I say i'd be overjoyed with that little problem! my issue stems from my mum.

Now for those not in the know I am a 40 year old married woman (I know I have the mentality of a 13 year old and i ain't letting go without a fight!) well the short version goes thus..... my dad died when I was 13 and I have remained at home ever since.  So I live with my mum, to say we have a complicated relationship is to suggest that Sam and Dean are slightly co-dependant.

I was once a big reader, I'm convinced to this day Terry Pratchett is very possibly god, well my mum hated me reading and so for years and years she had a concentrated campaign going to stop me reading every chance she got she put the boot in.  Well finally she won and I stopped reading anywhere where she could see me.  So guess what she is going after now?  yup my little flights of fancy.

she has dug and been snide about me being on the computer it even led to me buying a lap top so i could sit in the living room with her and keep her company, but that is still not enough.  I made the mistake of mentioning I wrote Fic (thank god she has never been able to work a computer or this would be written from a hospital; bed) and that people seemed to enjoy it.  Then came the killer I was trying to complete a challenge fic and because I'd asked to be allowed a little extra time on my lap top to get it ready in time she agreed and was going to allow me the time.

Until i tried to write during CSI which led to this.... "You know you're becoming stupid you know"

To which I replied, "Explain how I'm becoming stupid?"

"All that time on that bloody thing, writing your stupid stories, we used to be able to ask you anything and you know the answer but now you're just stupid."

to which I responded try telling JK Rowling and co they were stupid for writing, no my ego is not that big but I had to say something.

Steve my other half watched her flounce off to bed after she shreded my confidence and said, "the problem is it looks like you are enjoying something and people seem to like it, so she has to put a stop to it."  Well I managed to complete my little tale and it was enjoyed.

So a week or so passes by and nothing more has been said until tonight.  I was feeling a little down, I've hit a block in the fic of doom (hell is other people) so to cheer myself I was scribbling a little piece of fluff.  Unfortunately for me Foyle's War was about to start!

"You know you never read anymore, all you do is stare at that bloody thing, like I said just stupid."

Steve stepped in with "She reads it's just on the computer."

To which my darling mother replied "Yes but it was on loose women that everyone who uses computers gets sucked in and becomes more stupid because they don't pay attention to the world."

At this point I had to interrupt, "But mum you stopped me reading remember?"

And she responded with real pride in her voice "Yes I know i did, but at least it didn't make you stupid like this does."

so I'm sitting here alone now as  while my family watched the golf I used a tone of voice she didn't like, and now she has flounced off and made it very clear I'm in for a whole world of shit because I do something she can't take off me.

Except I think she's won again, the one thing she has never killed in me is my imagination, but god love her she keeps on trying, now I don't know whether just to give up writing to keep the peace and go back to just lurking around the comms like I used to.

Its strange to think I could probably deal with the anonymous haters, it just really hurts when its this close to home.

I'm sorry for bleating, and I promise that my normal level of stupidity will return it's just sometimes it get a bit too much, so I apologize to anyone reading this, bur sometimes you have to just bleat.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: silence
     Mandy: Finally the Huga_phoenixdragon on April 12th, 2010 04:59 am (UTC)
Oh sweetheart....that is so fucking rough!! Sounds like (and forgive me) she's a bit of an attention seeker - and may not be able to enjoy reading and other activities without additional stimulus (thus it all becomes stupid). I can not believe she is PROUD cause he chased you away from reading for awhile.

I'm sorry I know that she is your mother - I will try to be more respectful.

I hope you cna muddle through honey!! I've read and loved your fic! Never be afraid, intimiated or bullied into giving that up, darling!!

*Loves on you*
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on April 20th, 2010 12:12 pm (UTC)
Mum can be an attention seeker that is true. I'd lost track of the date and last Tuesday was dad's birthday, and an almost gauranteed trigger to set mum off.

But now as you know i'm back and so far I have...hang on at least three little tales on the go, I'm just not sure if they are good enough to continue with or if I've gone overboard on the angst!

But I shall battle on and I know that Jensen will just be bloody glad he doesn't belong to me *G*

     Mandy: Fadea_phoenixdragon on April 20th, 2010 01:03 pm (UTC)
Damn, I'm sorry, honey...*meep*!

Ohhh, I wanna read 'em!!

Hee! He's always grateful he doesn't belong to me, either...

sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on April 20th, 2010 07:02 pm (UTC)
Damn you're brave wanting to read my scribblings.

Bless there's just something about Jensen that makes him look even more gorgeous if he's covered in bruises. I know I know I can't help it.
     Mandy: -Dies-a_phoenixdragon on April 21st, 2010 12:41 am (UTC)
Your scribblings kick ass!!


Dude...YES. THIS...is why I feel compelled to abuse him - though everyone claims to like it, but wants me to fix it, too! *Cackles*

*Smishes you again*
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on April 21st, 2010 12:21 pm (UTC)
*Blushes* They do really? like I said I have a few unfinished on my hard drive that I don't know what to do with.

I admit it, I like abusing the poor boy, but I always try to put him back the way I found him. *G*

     Mandy: I Like It Rougha_phoenixdragon on April 21st, 2010 12:56 pm (UTC)
Eee!! Finish - and share!!!

*Laughs* I have a harder time with that, but I always try to get him somewhat pulled back together!!

sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on April 22nd, 2010 07:49 am (UTC)
Well I took your advice and finished one and posted it already!

Oh I always put him back together, I like Jared taking care of him *G*
     Mandy: Finally the Huga_phoenixdragon on April 22nd, 2010 02:32 pm (UTC)
Eeeee!! *Claps hands!!*

I'm gonna find it!


It's a weakness we all feel, I think, lol!! Poor Jensen - we like to hurt him cause he's so strong and can TAKE it - but it's always nice to have Jared pick up the pieces.

sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on April 22nd, 2010 10:16 pm (UTC)
I hope you do find it, it's the third part of a little verse I seemed to have developed, who knew?

I know its a weakness and a very guilty pleasure, but I agree with you, Jensen's a strong boy and he take the abuse as long as Jared's around to look after him!