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12 April 2010 @ 12:09 am
Rant and Venting of Spleen! anonymous commntators you have competiton.  
This is a warning this post has little value except to allow me to let off a little steam!  Please feel free to run away screaming now I won't be offended, and I  may still have friends at the end of it *G*

It has brought to my attention that of late authors of Fic have been suffering abuse from anonymous commentators.  Believe me when I say i'd be overjoyed with that little problem! my issue stems from my mum.

Now for those not in the know I am a 40 year old married woman (I know I have the mentality of a 13 year old and i ain't letting go without a fight!) well the short version goes thus..... my dad died when I was 13 and I have remained at home ever since.  So I live with my mum, to say we have a complicated relationship is to suggest that Sam and Dean are slightly co-dependant.

I was once a big reader, I'm convinced to this day Terry Pratchett is very possibly god, well my mum hated me reading and so for years and years she had a concentrated campaign going to stop me reading every chance she got she put the boot in.  Well finally she won and I stopped reading anywhere where she could see me.  So guess what she is going after now?  yup my little flights of fancy.

she has dug and been snide about me being on the computer it even led to me buying a lap top so i could sit in the living room with her and keep her company, but that is still not enough.  I made the mistake of mentioning I wrote Fic (thank god she has never been able to work a computer or this would be written from a hospital; bed) and that people seemed to enjoy it.  Then came the killer I was trying to complete a challenge fic and because I'd asked to be allowed a little extra time on my lap top to get it ready in time she agreed and was going to allow me the time.

Until i tried to write during CSI which led to this.... "You know you're becoming stupid you know"

To which I replied, "Explain how I'm becoming stupid?"

"All that time on that bloody thing, writing your stupid stories, we used to be able to ask you anything and you know the answer but now you're just stupid."

to which I responded try telling JK Rowling and co they were stupid for writing, no my ego is not that big but I had to say something.

Steve my other half watched her flounce off to bed after she shreded my confidence and said, "the problem is it looks like you are enjoying something and people seem to like it, so she has to put a stop to it."  Well I managed to complete my little tale and it was enjoyed.

So a week or so passes by and nothing more has been said until tonight.  I was feeling a little down, I've hit a block in the fic of doom (hell is other people) so to cheer myself I was scribbling a little piece of fluff.  Unfortunately for me Foyle's War was about to start!

"You know you never read anymore, all you do is stare at that bloody thing, like I said just stupid."

Steve stepped in with "She reads it's just on the computer."

To which my darling mother replied "Yes but it was on loose women that everyone who uses computers gets sucked in and becomes more stupid because they don't pay attention to the world."

At this point I had to interrupt, "But mum you stopped me reading remember?"

And she responded with real pride in her voice "Yes I know i did, but at least it didn't make you stupid like this does."

so I'm sitting here alone now as  while my family watched the golf I used a tone of voice she didn't like, and now she has flounced off and made it very clear I'm in for a whole world of shit because I do something she can't take off me.

Except I think she's won again, the one thing she has never killed in me is my imagination, but god love her she keeps on trying, now I don't know whether just to give up writing to keep the peace and go back to just lurking around the comms like I used to.

Its strange to think I could probably deal with the anonymous haters, it just really hurts when its this close to home.

I'm sorry for bleating, and I promise that my normal level of stupidity will return it's just sometimes it get a bit too much, so I apologize to anyone reading this, bur sometimes you have to just bleat.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: silence
deans_cookie on April 13th, 2010 12:24 am (UTC)
*hugs you*

I'm sorry that your mom makes you feel that way...I know you love her and feel loyal to her, but that's just wrong. You SHOULD stand up for yourself!

And I'm glad that your other half also spoke up for you. If Steve doesn't mind the time you spend on the computer than your mom shouldn't (you might bring that up next time too).

You should also tell her that computers don't make you stupid...for that matter, computers open up all sorts of new information and that you're actually learning more and more every day! For example, if something comes up on a show that you're unsure of (in a CSI show or something) than you can look that up and educate your self further!

I hope the next couple of days gets better for you!

If it's any consolation, I lived on my own for a while...from age 30-35, in another town, and loved it...BUT I had to come back home...so I could be there for my mom who is disabled and also for personal reasons.

However, I didn't just move in with my mom, but I also now live with my grandmother (she and mom moved in together to make life easier) and my 45 year old retarded foster aunt! 2 women who have been through menopause and one that is going through it!!!! And then me (I'll be 39 in May)! LOL

And Please, Please, Please do NOT stop writing....I like a lot of your fics!!!!! I'd really miss you! :(
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on April 20th, 2010 12:19 pm (UTC)
*Hugs back*

Thank you for your lovely encouraging comment. Sorry I didn't repond before but RL has been manic (along with mum) and along with email woes I'm just clearing uup my back logue now!

I do feel guilty for bleating, I know there are many poeople out there in much worse situations than myself, it's just sometimes you have to let off steam and stop bottling things up.

Well I also fired off a little epilogue to this laying out future Fics I would like to write. So it looks like I might be sticking around for a little while longer *G*