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15 January 2017 @ 09:00 pm
Belated Birthday wishes for Milly_Gal  
Friends, Romans, Fl*sters, on Thursday it was milly_gal's birthday, and I wanted to write a little something for her. As usual I write with the pace of a speeding snail and I finished my latest piece of insanity today. Once again Sam and Dean find themselves facing the most heinous force in the universe...fan girls.


From his seat in the center of the ring of salt, Sam watched in amusement as Dean drew on the walls on the motel with chalk At least he hoped it was chalk. If it wasn’t they were going to have to make a very quick get-away before house-keeping saw it. He’d never seen so many wards and protective charms outside of the Bunker. 

At long last Dean seemed satisfied with his art project and put the chalk down, he stalked over to the bed picked up his favourite sawn off shot gun, and stared fixedly at the door. After a few moments of tense silence Sam spoke, “Are you sure we wouldn’t be better off back at the Bunker? I’m pretty sure there’s a flame thrower you could use.” He grinned when Dean gave him a dirty look, and then returned to his vigil.

“Do you think I’m going to risk driving Baby, when we know they’re coming for us? They’ll probably run us off the road, you know it’s not the first time they’ve done that kind of thing. And why the hell didn’t you tell me about the flame thrower, if I’d known about it I’d have brought it with me.” 

Sam sighed, “Don’t you think you’re over reacting? Do you really intend to shoot them, they’re only fan….”

Dean spun round, “Don’t you dare say they’re only fan girls! Have you forgotten some of the shit those maniacs have put us through?” Dean rubbed at his left shoulder, whenever the girls were around, it became a magnet for every bullet and sharp projectile they could fire at him. It was hell on his wardrobe. If they had to keep beating the crap out of him and Sam, surely, they could buy them a few shirts to replace the ones that kept being torn up to use as bandages.

Sam paled as he recalled some of the things they’d suffered at the hands of the fan girls, and all too often Dean was their favourite victim.  He sighed and lowered his head, “Why don’t we just give them what they want, it will be less painful in the end.”

“Hell no! We both know it’s Milly’s birthday today, and she’s got a soft spot for you. If I’ve got anything to do with it, they ain’t getting their hands on you.  You’re just going to sit there nice and quiet until after midnight.”

“Midnight here or in the UK?” Sam watched the colour drain from Dean’s face as he frantically reached for his phone to work out the time difference.

There was a knock and Dean froze, he put his phone down and nervously approached the door, he looked through the peep hole and groaned. Sam swallowed hard, he knew who was on the other side of the door. “Perhaps if we keep quiet they’ll go away.” He said hopefully.

Dean pressed his ear to the door and he could hear nothing, no squeezing, giggling or typing. Perhaps Sam was right if they just stayed quiet the fan girls might get bored, and head off to torture some other poor son of a bitch.

Dean was just starting to relax when there was another knock at the door, and he heard a familiar voice. “Come on Dean let us in, we only want to talk. We promise not to hurt you or Sam.”

“Yeah, right Dizzo. The last time we fell for that, I ended up with hypothermia and Sam ended up cuddling me naked.” Dean shuddered at the memory, “I’m still getting nightmares about it, there are parts of your little brother’s anatomy that should never rub up against your ass.”

“Oh, Bugger really? Listen Dean, how do you feel about AU’s? I’ve got this great idea for a wing fic and…” there was the sound of a scuffle, and Dean risked peeking through the peep hole. He saw Chelle had got her hand over Sasha’s mouth.

“Shhh don’t tell him yet, get past the prologue and then spring it on him.” Chelle hissed, “It does have a naked Sam in it, right?” Sasha nodded, and Chelle let go of her with a smile on her face.

Dean looked round for something to barricade the door with, there was only the beds and he didn’t think that would hold them for long.

“Look I promise we won’t do anything, we just want to talk about Milly’s birthday.”  Wings pleaded, “I don’t want to have to start typing but I will.” She lifted the laptop to show Dean she meant business.

Dean looked over his shoulder at Sam, they were screwed.  The girls were armed and ready to cause mayhem. “Listen Sam, how about I distract them while you make a break for it. We’re only on the first floor, you could climb out of the window and drop down.” Dean stood back and threw his gun on the bed, he took a deep breath and started to unbutton his shirt. He soon slipped it off his shoulders and stood there in his green Henley, he hoped the shock of seeing him in one layer would give Sam the time he’d need to get away.

“Dean, we’re in this together. Now open the door and let’s see what they want from us this time.” Sam stood and squared his shoulders, ready to face his fate with his big brother. 

Dean sighed, opened the door and the fan girls came inside,” Good afternoon boys, how are you today?” Wings asked cheerily as the others filed in, and stared in open wonder at the sight of Dean wearing one layer.

Dean stepped in front of Sam and scowled, “We’re fine thanks.” He clicked his fingers,” Hang on no we’re not, Sam’s still recovering from that freaky crap one of you wrote, with him being sucked inside the internet. He still can’t log onto MyFace. And I’m not getting the sight of him in a spandex onesie out of my head any time soon.”

“That’s Facebook and MySpace, Dean.” Dean glanced at Sam and waved a dismissive hand, he turned back folded his arms and glared at the group in front of him.

JJ looked up at Sasha and whispered, “Well I think that answers your question about AUs, I don’t think Dean appreciated the Tron remix. I thought they looked damn hot during the light cycle race.” JJ went quiet when Dean turned his glare on her.

“I take it you want us to do something for Milly’s birthday, right?” Sam asked over Dean’s head, ignoring the stink eye his brother gave him as he stepped out of the salt ring.

Wings smiled in relief, this was going to be easier than she thought. “All we want is for Sam to go and be Milly’s butler for day, I swear it’s nothing traumatic.”

“Right, I seem to remember being delivered to Dizzo’s wrapped in a red ribbon. You’re not doing that to Sam.” 

“Oh, come on Dean we didn’t hurt you.”  Dizzo interrupted his staring contest with Wings.
 
Dean managed a half smile as he remembered the day, it hadn’t been too bad.  They’d sat around listening to classic rock eating pie and then Dizzo had painted his portrait. Dean wondered where that portrait was now, he didn’t think Mr. Dizzo would appreciate a life size nude picture of him hanging in their bedroom. But that wasn’t important right now, he had to defend Sammy’s honor.

Dean shook his head, “No frigging way are you dragging Sam off to Milly.” He pointed at the girls, “I know you lot, there’s no way Sam’s just going to be making cups of tea and doing the dusting.” Dean growled warningly, ignoring the whimpers from Dizzo, JJ and Sasha’s, “I get all tingly, when he gets all protective of Sam.”

Wings sighed and put her hand up,” Ok you got us, there is a little bit more to it than that. We’d like Sam to wear this while he carries out his duties.” Wings nodded to Chelle, who was holding up Sam’s uniform with shaking hands.

Dean looked at it and snorted, “Hell no! There’s no way Sam’s wearing that. Talk about being objectified. Are those shorts even big enough to cover him?” Dean stared at a pair of the shortest shorts he’d ever seen. To coin a phrase, he’d heard an Australian hunter use, they weren’t shorts they were budgie smuggler’s.  But after his close encounter with that monster Sam kept hidden in his baggy jeans, perhaps python smuggler’s might be more appropriate.

“Don’t worry there’s more to the uniform than shorts, here’s the rest of it.” Wings smirked as she held out a black bow tie.

Dean shook his head, “Not happening ever, if you want to get Milly a present send her those two goofs who play Captain America and Bucky.”

“That was going to be our second suggestion for costumes, if you’d rather Sam didn’t go on his own. Milly loves Marvel.” Wings informed Dean.

Before Dean could tell them, he was more of a DC guy, Sasha’s knees buckled as she started babbling things about spandex, and something called Stucky.  Dizzo led her over to the bed and sat her down, “Put your head between your knees, you’ll be alright in a minute.”

Sasha looked up at her, “If I try doing that kind of thing that at my age, we’ll be spending the rest of the day in the nearest emergency room. I just need a minute to compose myself.” She looked over at Dean and her eyes glazed over, “If the boys do agree to that, do you think we could convince Dean to wind up in nothing but the Captain’s boots his thigh holster and the shield?”

 There was an awed silence as the girls stared hungrily at Dean, and he had to fight the urge to either run, or cover little Dean with his hands. Wings licked her lips and started to lift the lap top.

Sam stepped forward he didn’t really feel like playing Bucky to Dean’s Captain America. He dreaded to think of all the damage Dean could cause with the shield, fully clothed or not. “What happens if we say no.” Sam said forcefully, and Chelle had to sit by Sasha on the bed.

Wings sighed regretfully, “There are two ways this is going to go, the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is just to give in gracefully and let Sam come with us.”

Sam shuffled nervously and looked at Dean. He could see the apprehension in his brother’s green eyes, and there was the tell-tale clench of the jaw that said they were in trouble.

“What’s the hard way then?” Dean asked in a hoarse voice.

Wings smirked, “Well the hard way is I hand the laptop over to Dizzo and Sasha. I hear they’ve been dying to work on a story together. I know for a fact they’ve got some great surprises lined up for you Dean.” Wings glanced at Dizzo, “Wasn’t there something about stripping Dean naked, smearing him in honey and staking him out by an anthill?”

Sasha leant into Chelle and said, “To hell with the anthill, I say we smear him in honey and leave him in a room full of fan girls.”

Wings raised her eyebrow and nodded to the two of them, “Or we could go with that.”
Sam just managed to catch Dean as his knees gave out, his brother turned frightened eyes on him. Sam rolled his shoulders and looked at Wings, “Alright I’ll do it.”

Dean clutched Sam’s shirt, “No Sam, there’s no way I’m going to let you do this alone.”

Wings grinned at the brothers, this had worked out perfectly, “Ok then, plan B it is.”

Dean frowned he had a feeling him and Sam had been played. Especially when JJ rolled forward and handed them a bag and he saw what was inside. “Son of bitch!” He exclaimed as Wings readied her laptop, to open the portal to transport them to Milly.

 The brothers stood outside Milly’s house and Dean tugged at his costume, “Dude we look like a prize pair of dorks dressed like this.” Dean adjusted the mask on his face, and frowned at the unfamiliar weight on his left arm.

“I don’t know what you’ve got to complain about, at least you can put the shield down. Chelle, Sasha and Dizzo stuck the plates for Bucky’s metal arm to my skin.” Sam shot Dean a horrified look, “Shit I hope we can get the glue off, otherwise I’m in trouble.” Sam tugged at one of the metal plates, and flinched when it pulled at his skin.

“Don’t worry Sam, we can ask Cas for help. Although I think the whole panda eyes might be beyond even Cas’ ability to heal.” He grinned as his little brother gave him a world class bitch face.

“Come on boys, don’t stand there all day, Milly’s waiting for her birthday surprise.” Dizzo said and the other fan girls nodded in agreement.

Dean rolled his eyes and knocked the door, “The things I do for you Sam.”

“Come on this has got to be better than being smeared with honey, and left to the tender mercies of a group of fan girls.” Sam shot back.

The door opened and Milly appeared, she took one look at Sam and Dean dressed as Captain America and The Winter Solider and she let an ear-splitting shriek. “OH. My. God! This is the best birthday gift ever.”
 As Milly came outside and bounced and squeed excitedly with the other girls, Dean gave Sam a long-suffering look. “Can I get back to you on that one.” He said as Milly grabbed them by the hand and dragged them inside.

 
 
Current Mood: gigglygiggly
 
 
 
milly_gal: Loopeh!milly_gal on January 15th, 2017 09:18 pm (UTC)
I am dying!!! Dying so hard. I love you so much right now, this is EPIC AND AWESOME!!!!! *COUGHS* Dude seriously thank you so much!!!! Best. Gift. Ever!!! You know how much I love the fangirl verse and Damn that nearly killed me!!! I spent the whole story coughing and choking and trying not to laugh out loud. Steve says.. Damn Ali way to get her going, lol. Thank you!

Edited at 2017-01-15 09:23 pm (UTC)
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on January 18th, 2017 08:59 pm (UTC)
So you liked the present then? I'm so pleased, it was so much fun to write. And tell Steve there may be some more of these during the course of the year.
milly_galmilly_gal on January 20th, 2017 09:45 am (UTC)
Loved it, but you knew I would :D

*pokes* May be?! *pokes*
Dizzojay's Dean Dreamsdizzojay on January 15th, 2017 09:38 pm (UTC)
That's a wonderful birthday adenture for our girl - I'm so glad I could be a part of it. Now I know why Jensen looks so nervous when I approach him at the cons now :D

Awesome work, well done!!
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on January 18th, 2017 09:03 pm (UTC)
It wouldn't be the fan girl verse without you along for the ride. I'm not surprised the poor boy is terrified of us. I'm glad you liked it.
Hermine Kurotowaherminekurotowa on January 15th, 2017 09:53 pm (UTC)
WHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is brilliant!

Maybe Dean should have taken the grenade launcher.



Edited at 2017-01-15 09:53 pm (UTC)
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on January 18th, 2017 09:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you, and you're right he really should've taken the grenade launcher.
wings128: Purple!fangirlwings128 on January 15th, 2017 10:20 pm (UTC)
WHOOP! Another fucking awesome installment of the Fangirl'Verse, Miss Sasha!♥♥

I love that me and my purple sparkly laptop have the power to bring Mr Dean Winchester to his knees, LOL!

I know it's Milly's birthday prezzie but thank you so much for my share. xx
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on January 18th, 2017 09:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Your purple sparkly laptop is the stuff of legend now, and is the ultimate weapon against the Winchesters.
My Hunter: Dean- the facemeus_venator on January 16th, 2017 01:01 am (UTC)
LOL! I don't blame Sam and Dean for being nervous! You are a bad crew!
I love it and I really think you should write that tagteam AU O.o!!!!
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on January 18th, 2017 09:08 pm (UTC)
I'm not surprised the boys are scared of us, we're rotten to them. If we got together to write that AU, Sam and Dean would barricade themselves in the bunker.
supernutjapansupernutjapan on January 16th, 2017 03:01 pm (UTC)
So much fun!!:D<3
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on January 18th, 2017 09:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
Queen of the Monkey People: Laugh Track by fallbirdsadelheide on January 16th, 2017 04:10 pm (UTC)
brb...dying...
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on January 18th, 2017 09:08 pm (UTC)
*G* my work here is done.
zara_zeezara_zee on January 17th, 2017 11:42 am (UTC)
Bwhahahaha! Oh wow. So much fun. :)
sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on January 18th, 2017 09:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I'm so happy you liked it.
JJ1564jj1564 on January 17th, 2017 11:43 pm (UTC)
Hee hee this is so funny! I love the reaction to Dean being in one layer and this, too...

"“Look I promise we won’t do anything, we just want to talk about Milly’s birthday.” Wings pleaded, “I don’t want to have to start typing but I will.” She lifted the laptop to show Dean she meant business."

Now if only this was really real!!

sasha_dragonsasha_dragon on January 18th, 2017 09:17 pm (UTC)
Glad you like this, and of course we'd all standing there gawping if Dean was stood there in one layer. Wing's laptop is our weapon of mass destruction where Dean is concerned.

True, if only this was real, imagine the fun we could have.